Archive for hotel

There’s No Place Like Home

Durango, Colorado

(NOTE: It was in October 2012 when I “just returned” from this trip and wrote this post. A worldwide pandemic was the furthest thing from my mind! Most of us have stayed home for over a year, and we’re just now thinking about traveling again as we gradually get our COVID-19 vaccinations. Also new since 2012 is the Org4life Travel Resource Roundup I created for you. Stay safe, and enjoy your travels!)

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I just returned home from a short road trip to Durango, Colorado (from Albuquerque, New Mexico). The brisk fall weather and scenery were wonderfully refreshing.  And it was good to be out of my routine for a couple of days. Then, as usual, I was just as glad to return home as I was to leave it in the first place. There’s a reason why we have these sayings:

Home Sweet Home.
There’s no place like home.
A man’s home is his castle.
Home is where the heart is.

Aren’t we all more comfortable at home? And if you aren’t, what needs to change so that you are…?

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A Room of One’s Own

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-suitcase-image19196924It’s not cheap being an introvert! Especially if you’re a single introvert who is used to being alone most of the time. I’m referring, in this case, to the extra cost of me-time that comes in the form of a single supplement for a room to oneself on a cruise…or on any occasion involving hotel rooms.

I’m in the midst of packing for a professional conference at which the majority of attendees will be paired up for the purpose of sharing the cost of a room. For many, it will also ensure that they will have more fun. More fun?! Sharing a room with a stranger? Even sharing with a friend can be stressful for an introvert who lives in peace and quiet at home. A roommate, even a quiet introverted one, requires more energy than I have to spare.

The conference is going to be educational, inspirational, and, yes, fun! It’s going to be SO MUCH fun that I’m going to need a place of my own at times to get away from it all and recharge my batteries. So I reserved my own room and will simply absorb the cost. I know it will be worth it. I will participate fully in the conference activities and then retreat to my peace and quiet. I will have dinner with others, and enjoy a glass of wine, but I will not be part of the dancing, drinking, karaoke crowd. I need my sleep!

When it comes to vacationing with others, it took me years to realize that it was worth it to me to simply get my own room. However, not only does it cost more, it also makes it difficult for others who would like to save money, and enjoy even more of my company, by sharing a room with me.

I realize there are different types and degrees of introversion. Do you, too, prefer a room to yourself? Or do you welcome the occasional stimulation and companionship of a travel roommate? What other costs can you think of that are associated with being an introvert? Please leave a comment in the section below!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

 

How to Be an Introverted Houseguest or Host Without Driving Each Other Crazy

Benjamin Franklin wasn’t kidding when he wrote, in Poor Richard’s Almanac, “Fish and visitors smell in three days.” Especially if you are an introvert and live alone 99% of the time. Even when the guest is your best friend of forty years.

Since I moved to Albuquerque several years ago, Jane, whose idea it was to write this article, has been spending Christmas with me. I usually go to visit her in Denver in the spring or fall. When the subject of introversion came up, it was obvious to me that I was an introvert, but I had never thought about whether or not she was, too, and how that might affect our relationship. She fits all the criteria, certainly…but she also likes to talk more than I do, and never runs out of things to say. As entertaining as that can be, I am simply not used to talking or listening so much during a day, much less for several days in a row. It can distract me, and drain me of energy, especially if there is something else I need to be doing or thinking about as the host. Let me tell you how we have worked things out by understanding and accepting our introverted natures.

If you are an introverted host:

  • Remodel your garage into a guest suite. OK, that’s probably not feasible for everyone, but that’s what I did. I figure the more privacy my houseguests have, the more privacy I have too, and the more I can tolerate – er, I mean enjoy — their company. Plus this way I don’t have to share my bathroom either.
  • You don’t have to spend every minute with your guests. Really, you don’t. If they are tourists with their own car, I like to point them in the right direction and say, “Have a nice day, I can’t wait to hear all about it at dinner!”

If you are an introverted guest:

  • Don’t be shy about saying you’d rather stay in a hotel, if that’s the case. Some people are offended by that, but I’m not sure why as long as you aren’t asking them to pay for it. Make sure to tell them sincerely how much you are looking forward to spending time with them, but also make it clear that you need time alone to recharge your batteries because you are an introvert. If they look at you funny, this is your chance to educate them on the subject.

If your host is introverted:

  • Jane knows I start my day slower than she does, so she sometimes goes out to sit in the hot tub with a good book and a Diet Pepsi while I check my email, drink coffee, and wake up in silence
  • Do offer to help (e.g. in the kitchen), but don’t insist. It could be that your host is using that time alone in the kitchen to unwind in silence after a long day together.

If your guest is introverted:

  • If you can’t dedicate a whole room to your guest, consider putting up a screen in the corner of the room where they will be sleeping so that they will have a place to retreat and recharge.
  • Jane is over-stimulated by shopping malls, superstores, and crowds. So I shop for anything we might need (even if it’s just groceries) before she arrives. I ask her in advance what special things she might need and get those while I’m at it.

If you are both introverted:

  • This is when it gets easy, because you both know how the other feels.
  • No matter how early I rise, as long as we have no specific morning plans, I let Jane sleep as long as she possibly can. She’s on vacation, after all, but this also gives me time to myself. Of course, this is easier the more private your guest room is.
  • Stick to mutually desirable activities and don’t try to do too much in a day.
  • Declare an afternoon “me-time” so you can both recharge however you see fit (i.e. napping or reading). Then neither of you will be cranky at dinnertime.
  • Work out a mutually agreeable signal, or just say, “No more talking, OK?”, if you need to suspend the conversation and concentrate on something else for a few minutes (or longer).
  • One of the things we implemented long ago is something we call “The List”. The List is where we jot down topics of conversation that we don’t want to forget to address during our visit. We keep in touch between visits, of course, but some topics are best discussed in person or in depth. This way we can feel free to declare, “No more talking, OK?” without the other person worrying that we might not get to their favorite topic.

As with any relationship, every situation is different, and the key to guest/host relations is communication. You can read more of my tips for making guests feel comfortable in my blog article: Is Your Guest Room Guest Worthy?

This year Jane and I were both a little sadder to part than usual. While definitely looking forward to getting back to normal, we weren’t quite as anxious as usual to retreat to our respective homes and introverted lives. And she was here for four days!

How do you deal with having, or being, a houseguest? Let us know by leaving a comment!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.