Archive for guilt

Are your keepsakes a legacy, or a liability?

Mom's punch bowl, usually used for fruit, is being used here for pecans.

Mom’s crystal punch bowl, usually used for fruit, is being used here for pecans.

Have you inherited keepsakes you don’t know what to do with?

I can’t tell you how many of my clients have had a garage or storage unit full of stuff they inherited from a loved one. These items represent a mix of emotions – memories good and bad; guilt over secretly wanting to reclaim the space they occupy; fear that they will accidentally discard a priceless heirloom. They are paralyzed with indecision: Am I betraying my loved one if I part with this item? Will I forget them if I don’t keep all their stuff? (I promise you won’t!) How, and where, can I get rid of it? How, and where, can I keep it?

 

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Are you too busy to live your life?

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-chicken-image15981374Once upon a time I was taught the Transcendental Meditation technique. It’s a mantra-based meditation that is done for 20 minutes twice a day, but that is not my point. The thing about the training that keeps coming back to me is this frequent admonishment:

If you are too busy to meditate, then you are too busy.

As a time management consultant I now believe this concept can be applied to ANY activity in life that is important to you:

If you are too busy to _________, then you are too busy.

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To send, or not to send? No more holiday card guilt!

No more holiday card guilt!I love to send and receive holiday cards! My Thanksgiving weekend ritual is to take inventory — while relaxing in front of the fire, with a glass of wine, snacks, and some Christmas music — of my friends, family, clients, colleagues, and those who have been helpful to me throughout the year. It’s a natural extension of counting my blessings. I use the cards I receive as decorations. In my Albuquerque home, my office is open to my kitchen, dining room and living room, so I tape them to my filing cabinet!

But the very last thing I want to do is to make anyone feel inadequate in the card-sending department! Who needs that kind of stress? Two friends posted on Facebook one year about receiving their first holiday card of the season. One wrote: “I love, love, love going to my mailbox this time of year! Doin’ a little dance!” The other wrote: “I think it is too early for sending Christmas cards. Maybe it bugs me because I haven’t even made my list yet.”

Here are my suggestions for alleviating holiday card stress and guilt:

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Clearing Mental Clutter

accept what you can't changeClutter comes in many forms. If you are worried about something, but aren’t doing anything about it — or can’t do anything about it — it’s mental clutter. For any persistent, worrisome thought, ask yourself: Can you do something about it? If you think so, or if you don’t think so, or if you’re not sure — think again just to make sure. If the answer is yes — you can do something about it – great! Do it! The pure fact that you are doing something about it will help you to not worry about it so much.

Why can’t you part with your mental clutter? Here are some reasons why this is difficult:

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Is it Clutter?

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This is the companion article to The Original Clutter Flow Chart. It answers these questions: What is Clutter?  Why can’t I part with my clutter?  What should I do with my clutter?  What if, despite my best intentions, I am still living with clutter? (more…)