Do you have trouble saying no? How about trouble saying yes? I just read The Year of Yes, by Shonda Rhimes, creator of Gray’s Anatomy and Scandal, among other popular TV shows. I found it to be both entertaining and inspiring. The basic story is that Shonda realized she was saying NO to most invitations and opportunities that came her way, and missing out on a lot that life has to offer. So, she started saying YES, which, as with many worthwhile endeavors, is easier said than done.
What I found intriguing, though, was how often she turned it around. She did, totally, get out of her rut by saying YES to scary things like appearing on TV and giving speeches. She’s a writer, after all, not an actor. But there were also times where she still wanted to say NO and asked herself, “How can I turn this into a YES?” So, for example, by saying NO to a “friend’s” unreasonable request for a large sum of money, she was also saying YES to herself and her own well-being.
Clearly, it’s unwise to always say YES. Or to always say NO.
Which reminded me:
Every YES is a NO to something else.
I don’t know who said that first. Probably not me, although I say it to my clients all the time. And I’ve written it before, too, in a couple of previous blog posts:
For example, if you say YES to a volunteer job, or other time-consuming activity, you are also saying NO to time spent with your family, working for profit, relaxing, or pursing your own personal goals.
That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be worthwhile, though. Just something to consider.
So, how do you know whether to say YES, or NO?
Say YES when the request…
- …supports your goals and priorities.
- …fits into your Ideal Schedule.
- …makes you feel fear — the type of fear that is really, when you think about it, just excitement, and indicative of a growth opportunity.
Say NO when the request…
- …is unreasonable.
- …throws your Ideal Schedule out of balance for longer than short-term.
- …makes you feel fear — the type of fear that means something is dangerous, or not in your best interest.
What about you?
Do you have trouble saying YES to “scary” opportunities?
When you say YES, do you also think about what you’re saying NO to?
Share with us in the comments below!
Copyright 2017 by Hazel Thornton, Organized For Life.
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